You Can't
by theonelove17
Summary: As the wedding between Rachel and Finn begins, Quinn realizes how important it is that Rachel knows her true feelings towards her.
1. Introduction

She had to stop that wedding.

That was the only thing going through Quinn's mind at the moment. As soon as Rachel told her about her engagement to Finn, she was devastated. She tried to hold it in and tell her that her dreams were bigger than that, bigger than him, but she didn't listen. No matter how hard she tried to keep her emotions in check, she couldn't. Rachel was too important to lose, and she was afraid that she already lost her. The two were friends so to speak, even with everything that happened last year. She didn't hate Rachel for wanting Finn. She hated Rachel for not wanting _her._

She looked around her room, looking for her keys. She needed to get to the chapel, and fast. Rachel was getting married in less than two hours, and she had to stop it. She wouldn't stand around and watch her marry Finn Hudson. He didn't care about her dreams, or her future. He was only marrying her because he knew he had no future without her. Quinn walked around, searching frantically for her purse before she located it. She took a look in the mirror to make sure she looked okay, before she walked out of her room.

She got into her car, a small Ford Escape, and she sped off. She hated her mom for choosing a house in the country, but she couldn't blame her. There was more space, and it was beautiful. The large country house was perfect, even if the location wasn't. She sped off, trying to look at her phone to see what time it was. She had already gotten a few texts from everyone asking where she was. As the maid of honor, they had every right to be worried about where she was. It was weird, but Rachel trusted her. Rachel always had. She stopped at the sign, seeing the cars drive past as she looked at her phone quickly.

**You need to be here, Q. Rachel's waiting for you.**

**Quinn, Rachel is thinking you went to Mars. Please turn your spaceship around so you can be here.**

**Quinn, you're being really selfish. Rachel would want you here, whether or not you actually approved of their wedding.**

**Quinn, don't you get tired of hating her? Just get here.**

"Ugh, really?" She muttered to herself as she tossed her phone to the side, driving past the city sign. She kept thinking about Rachel, and she couldn't get it to stop. She couldn't keep thinking about her. She was supposed to be supportive of her friend, wasn't she? She was supposed to be happy for her. But she couldn't do that. She needed to know that she loved her, that she really loved her before she ruined her life. She loved them equally; both her and Finn were perfect. They just weren't perfect for each other. If that made her greedy, then so be it. She tried to be supportive, and she tried to tell her that her dreams were important, but nothing worked. She needed to know now.

"_You can't," Quinn said immediately after Rachel pleaded her case. She wouldn't let her marry Finn, not now, or ever. It wasn't right for her. She had dreams, big dreams that were supposed to come true because she was a star. Anyone who knew her for even a moment knew that._

"_Q-Quinn, I love him though."_

"_I'm not saying that you don't. Believe me, Rachel. You and Finn are a lovely couple. I just don't think it's a good idea for you two to be together." _

"_And why's that? Because you love him? Because he's better off with you? Quinn we've been over this, and I really don't want a repeat of last year, okay?" Rachel said with an edgy voice._

_Quinn was silent for a while, not wanting to tell her the truth. She couldn't. "You're so much better than that, Rachel. What ever happened to following your dreams and making something of yourself?"_

"_I'm still going to do that, but—"_

"_Rachel stop it! You can't marry Finn. He's just going to be an anchor from your past. Why would you want to bring your past into your bright future?" _

"_Why are you being so mean?"_

"_I'm being honest, just like you told me to do. I'm looking out for you Rachel, just like you did earlier this year for me. That's what friends are for," she said, as she stormed out of the bathroom, tears welling in her eyes. She hated that Rachel could do these things to her. She hated that so many things could have an effect on her. Rachel was making a mistake, and she was never going to realize it. That's what hurt her the most._

She swerved out of the way, realizing that she had to calm down. _Be calm, Quinn. Be calm,_ she told herself. She took in a deep breath, before letting it out as she drove past. She heard her phone ring, and she angrily picked it up.

"What?" She scowled, holding it up to her ear as she looked around, turning towards the chapel.

"Quinn, it's Puck."

"What do you want? Did you call to torment me about Rachel some more?"

"No, I called to tell you that I know," he replied calmly.

"Know what?" Quinn lied.

"I know that you love her, Quinn. Everyone knows. Brittney knows, Santana knows. The only people that don't are the two waiting to get hitched."

"So what? Is that the only reason you called? Because it's not helping me."

"I called to tell you that you deserve her, Quinn. She's the only one who took two seconds out of their day to help you. She was always there for you. Whether it was to help you get past your crazy phase or for getting you back into Glee club, she was the one. I see how you look at her, and you deserve her. You should've just told her, Quinn. If you told her, it would've been you up there instead of Finn," he said, hearing the blonde start to whimper.

"Puck, stop it, I'm already on my way, okay?" She said, trying to hold back another whimper.

"I know you are, baby. Just hurry up so you can tell her, alright? You deserve good things, Quinn."

And with that, Puck hung up the phone, leaving Quinn alone. She whimpered more, before she was full on crying. She couldn't believe what he had just said. He was promoting their relationship, instead of being selfish and wanting her. She wiped her eyes as she drove faster, looking back at her phone with a text from Rachel.

**I know you're upset at me, Quinn. But I'd appreciate it if you were here. It's not the same without you. –R**

Quinn looked at her phone, crying as she realized how important it was that she was there. Rachel _wanted_ her there. She wiped a tear before she looked up, taking in a sharp breath as she realized her fate.

"Shit!" Quinn yelled, slamming her foot on the brake.

But it was too late.


	2. September of Senior Year

No one ever threated Quinn Fabray.

Ever.

"You're being selfish, Quinn. You know, you need to just let it go, alright? Finn is with Rachel now and that's all that matters," Santana told her as she looked at the blonde. She hated seeing her so upset, but sometimes it took a little Snix attitude from the latina to make her realize what she was doing wrong.

Quinn looked back at Santana with a glare, but dropped it. "Whatever, you're right. He's off with someone that will only drag him down. It's better that he's with her anyway. I don't want him to ruin me anyway," she said, knowing that it wasn't Finn that she was worried about. She was worried about Rachel, and why Rachel went back to him time and time again. There was so much that Finn didn't know about her. Things that only Quinn knew. Sure, the two weren't the best of friends, but they definitely were. At one point, Quinn looked up to Rachel rather than the other way around, but that time was over with now. She bet that the girl hardly even remembered when the two were friends back in elementary school.

"Just let it go, okay Q? You're stronger without him," she said, looking back at her.

Quinn imagined all of the times where she knew she wasn't. She wasn't strong. She was weak. She nodded at Santana and Brittany, as she looked at the two girls. "Thanks guys, it means a lot, but I think I'm going to get some sleep. I'm feeling kind of out of it," she said, as she hugged them both. They smiled and hugged her back as they walked out of her room. Quinn sighed as she looked around her room, looking for something, anything that she could do. She needed to change. She wasn't herself, and she refused to let anyone else think she was okay. She was tired.

Tired of pretending.

She grabbed her keys as she walked out the door, not even bothering to let her mother know. She got in her car and drove away, speeding off to the mall. She grabbed all of the darkest clothes she could find, and she grabbed a bottle of pink hair dye. She was changing herself. She was changing herself to match her emotions.

Broken.

As soon as she got home, she ran up to her room and locked the doors. She started with her closet. She grabbed everything out of it and threw it out the window, knowing that the former wardrobe wasn't her. She wasn't that goody little two shoes that everyone thought she was. She grabbed a pair of dark skinny jeans and a black t-shirt, and she got to work. She grabbed the scissors from her desk and she started chopping off the hair that had grown at least two inches since her last haircut. She wasn't the cheerio that she thought she was or the Barbie doll that everyone else thought she was. She was Quinn Fabray. No one could define her anymore. She watched as hair fell into the sink, and how choppy it looked. She opened the bottle of hair dye and smothered her hair in the pink mixture, not taking a single moment to hesitate. This was Quinn Fabray.

Waking up the next morning wasn't hard. School wasn't even that bad. She roamed the halls and walked down them like she owned them. She saw Mike, Tina, and Mercedes look at her, and she shot a glare in their direction. She looked straight ahead as she saw Puck look over at her. She stopped suddenly, before turning towards him.

"Say it to my face, Puckerman!" She glared as she got up in his face.

"I wasn't thinking anything, Quinn, jesus calm down," he said as he threw his hands up.

"Yes you were! I know what you were going to say. 'Oh what a train wreck we've got here,'" she said with a growl.

"I wasn't going to say that."

"It's all over your face!" She screamed as she punched him in the face.

He lunged towards her and that's when Finn and Mike came to hold him back. "Puck calm down!" Mike yelled, grabbing his arm, looking at Quinn with a sad look.

"What are you gonna do now, Puck? Punch a girl?" She taunted, looking at him with a glare. "You don't have the balls, Puck. You've gone soft, just like your d-"

Puck tried to lunge towards her again and Finn held him back, "Bro come on, leave her alone!"

"I won't calm down, Finn! I just got bitch slapped by some dirty skank!" He yelled at her.

"That's it!" Quinn yelled as she got closer to him, feeling Santana and Mercedes holding her back. "Quinn calm down!" Santana snapped, looking at her before looking at Puck. "Everyone just calm down!"

Quinn hissed as she pushed the girls off of her, threatening a punch in their direction. She saw Rachel come near and she tried to stay in her bitch mode as she looked towards Puck again.

"What's going on?" She asked, looking at Quinn, completely taken back by her change in wardrobe.

"Nothing," Quinn muttered as she walked away from the scene, trying to get a hold on herself.

"That's right, walk away like you always do, Fabray!" Puck called.

It took everything in her power to not turn around.

Quinn stood under the bleachers, alone. Her so called friends cut class today, and she decided to stay. Just because she was broken didn't mean that she was stupid. She heard footsteps and she dried her eyes quickly before realizing who it was. "What do you want, Berry?" She hissed, looking at the girl up and down.

Rachel looked back at her and bit her lip. "I, uh, I just wanted to say hi. Santana told me where you'd be and I just wanted to say hello. It's been a while since I've seen you, and I guess I just wanted to, uh—"

"Wanted to what? Try and get me to come back? To apologize to Puck? Face it Rachel, I'm not that good girl that you thought I was. This is who I am now."

"Do you really expect me to buy that, Quinn? This isn't you. I've known you forever, and I know that the 'skank' look isn't you. You're a good person, Quinn. You're upset. A lot has happened to you, and you have every right to be upset."

"What's your angle?" Quinn asked suddenly.

"I don't have an angle. I just want my friend back. I want _you_ back."

"This is me, take it or leave it."

"You don't need to do this, Quinn. You have people that care about you. That are worried about you. You just can't see it with the dirt in your eyes," she said, looking at Quinn again. "I know what it's like to be hurt and upset, Quinn, but please don't keep doing this to yourself. You're better than this," she said, realizing that she wasn't about to fight with her again.

Quinn watched as she walked away, and she felt the same feeling in her stomach come back. She felt guilty to make Rachel hurt like this, but she couldn't do anything about it. This was who she had to be right now. As soon as she was alone again, she shed a tear, because she knew that she was hurting too many people.

Especially Rachel.

Rachel was her only concern. It's been like that since elementary school. A feeling only she can give her. And that was love. No matter how much she wanted to deny it, Quinn loved her. She loved her and there was nothing she could do about it. She'd never feel the same.

And that killed her.


	3. Hospital

Sirens blared everywhere as the scene unfolded just outside of Lima, Ohio.

Police cars, fire trucks, and the ambulance were there, along with news broadcasters and newspaper writers. This was the story of the year, everyone thought, as more and more people started to make their way towards the scene. A red Volkswagen was toppled over, as they tried to get the passenger out of the car. Reporters stood by as they broadcasted the scene directly behind them.

"Right outside of Lima, a tragedy has struck. Witnesses say that a car crash is the cause of this horrific scene. Officers and medics are working to try and figure out the cause and to see if the people involved need any medical attention. Names are not being released as of now, but we'll come back with an update later," a newswoman said as she looked behind her.

Rachel waited, calling off the wedding until Quinn got here. It was 5:30, she should've been here, she thought as she looked around the room. Finn was impatient, annoyed that she chose Quinn over him.

"Quinn hated you, Rachel, c'mon, let's just go, alright? She had her chance." He said angerly.

"Are you serious right now?" Rachel said, looking at Finn. She was offended, and she knew that this wedding didn't mean a single thing without Quinn. She shook her head, before checking her phone again. "I'm waiting."

Finn just stood there, shocked that Rachel just walked away. He shook his head, forgetting about what he's girlfriend, if he could call her that, had just done.

Rachel checked her phone again, but she got nothing.

All of a sudden, Kurt walked in, pursing his lips together. His face was white. He looked over to Rachel, before back at everyone else. "Quinn's been in an accident, her mom just called. She's in the hospital," he said quietly, looking at Rachel.

Rachel's heart dropped, worried about what this meant. Would she be okay? Was she even alive? All of this time, she was impatient and wondering if she really did hate her, but she didn't. She was on her way. She nodded at Kurt, as she grabbed her purse and followed him and everyone else, leaving Finn behind.

She never looked back.

In the hospital, Santana sat with Quinn's mom, with Brittany on her other side. As soon as Rachel came in, she stood up, before giving her a small hug. "You came," she said with a whisper, looking back at Judy. "She's in the ER right now."

Rachel swallowed hard. This shouldn't be happening. Her best friend shouldn't be in the hospital, almost _dying._ She looked at Santana again, and she sat down on the chair next to Judy. "It'll be okay," she whispered, trying to console her. On the inside, she just wanted to go and see Quinn. She just wanted to make sure she was okay, that her friend was okay. She needed to get in there now, she thought, as she stood up.

"Where are you going?" Santana asked, looking at Rachel with a puzzled look.

"Just for a walk, I'll be back," Rachel said, before walking away, trying to hold back her tears.

She found a t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants, changing out of the wedding dress. It wasn't right, not with Quinn in the ER and with her feelings towards Finn fake. That's all they were. They were only there to try and make her feelings for Quinn to disappear.

But it was no use.

She had feelings for Quinn, and all of those times, she had tried to hide them and play them off as feelings for Finn. It didn't work though, and now, and now she might not even get the chance to tell her that. That she actually loved her.

She sat down against the wall, holding her knees to her chest, letting the tears fall. She tries to get them all out, but it was no use. She had feelings for the girl, and she should've just said something. If she would've told her right there in the wedding shop, then she wouldn't be here. Quinn would be fine, hell, Quinn would be her _girlfriend._ She let out more tears before she heard a pair of footsteps walk towards her. They were Santana's.

She looked up, not even bothering to cover up her eyes. She looks up at Santana and cries some more, wishing there was something that she could do to make the pain go away. Santana sat down next to her and held her close, patting her head to try and get her to stop crying. "Shh, Niña, it'll be okay," she said, shaking her head, hoping that she was right. She knew that Rachel was in love with Quinn, and she knew that Quinn loved Rachel. It's the fact that the two never admitted it to each other that made it so hard.

After a few more minutes, the two walk back to the waiting room, both with their make-up fixed. Santana sat next to Brittany and held her hand, and Rachel went and sat next to Kurt, trying to keep it together. A nurse comes out, asking for family. Judy stands up and looks at Rachel, knowing that the girl wanted to see her. That Quinn would want to see her. She lets Rachel go, and sits back down, knowing that Rachel needed to say some things to her. She knew it would make Quinn happy right now, and that's all she needed. Happiness.

Rachel followed the nurse to Quinn's room. She held back tears as she saw Quinns body all bruised and bandaged. The side of her face was bruised deep, and it took everything in her power as Rachel looked back at her. She sat in the chair next to her, thinking of all the times she wished she could say that she loved Quinn. At prom, earlier this fall, when Quinn got accepted into Yale, at the wedding shop. The days and moments were endless. She put her hand on top of Quinn's, trying to comfort the girl. She looks back up, saying a quick little prayer before she looks back at Quinn. She can't take it anymore as she starts to cry, letting the tears fall. "Goddammit, Quinn. I fucked this up. I shouldn't have argued with you, and I shouldn't have tried to marry Finn. I don't even love him. I only dated him to get closer to you," she said, shaking her head. "Doesn't that sound silly? I only dated him because I wanted to be closer to you. I wanted to be with you Quinn, but I was too afraid to say anything. I just didn't want to admit my feelings and then have you reject them. I was so afraid of being rejected, Q. I just…I didn't…I wasn't thinking and now I won't be able to even tell you how I feel. I won't be able to tell you how much I love you and how I want to propose to you and tell you how beautiful you look in white. I want to fall so in love with you, Quinn, and I already have. And you'll never even know. That's the worst part, Quinn. I love you and you'll never know," she said, hearing the beeps get slower.

She tries to calm herself down, before she feels something squeeze her hand.

"Rachel?"


End file.
